This month our son Andrew celebrates his 22nd birthday.  

When he was three days old his mother said goodbye to him, gave him to a family she had worked for in Mexico City, and never saw him again. Five days later my wife Harriet and I flew to Mexico to adopt him and bring him with us to the United States. 

In his mind, Andrew tells us, he has always been our child and we his parents, but sometimes, when I try to imagine those first eight days in which he lost a mother and floated on a stream of strangers, I feel an urge to comfort him and the woman who gave birth to him. I wonder, too, if part of the ache I feel is for myself, for the moments in my own life when I felt abandoned and unable to speak. 

When Andrew was still a toddler, I told the story of how we became a family. It's called "Here in My Arms." 

The third part of Andrew's story is below.

[We see video slips of toddler Andrew reclining with his young father; being held by his happy mother Harriet. Then we hear “Here in my Arms” on the piano. Next, we hear seagulls calling, and ocean waves crashing upon a beach and a child calls, “Hi, Dad!” A still photo of Andrew comes into view.]

Tony Kahn:

I think my favorite picture of Andrew is the one a friend of ours took last summer at the beach. Andrew was almost two by then. And I can see in his face the gentleness and trust I’m sure now he was born with to meet the world.

[We see family scenes. In one, Andrew is bouncing on a friend’s knee, in others he plays with a paper bag, investigates a sprinkler, and walks through a room.]

All our pictures of him show a happy outgoing kid, at home wherever he goes. The years of doubt and worry and paperwork seem far away. I look at him and wonder how there ever could have been a time when he looked like a stranger, or we weren’t a family.

[A thunderstorm is heard in background, and we hear Harriet’s voice: “Carolyn hates these.” This is followed by a child’s fearful cry. We see Andrew pointing, while someone takes his hand.]

Like parents everywhere, Harriet and I hope that Andrew will always feel loved and welcome in this world.

[Harriet (off mike): I’ll come with you. Take my hand; let’s go look outside together.]

[In the next segment we see video clips of Andrew in Mexico, walking down the sidewalks of a lovely old Moorish building, swinging, laughing, playing with another child.]

Harriet’s already started learning Spanish, and we plan to spend some time in Mexico every year so that it, too, can be as much a part of his life as he wants. Adoption is a word with many meanings. One of them, we hope for Andrew, is that he can be a citizen of the world. Still, we’ve been told there may be times for Andrew – as there are for other adopted children – when the ground beneath his feet may not feel so sure. Or when he may wonder where, or to whom he really does belong. When some thoughtless person will tell him that because he is adopted, we aren’t his “real parents.” Or that because the woman who had him didn’t keep him, he wasn’t really wanted in this world.

[A song is sung in Spanish in the background.]

If that time comes, I hope I’ll be able to teach Andrew the lesson his adoption taught me: that we all belong to each other. And that our real families in this world are the people we’re given by chance – or by choice – to care for and love.

[Scene of grandfather bouncing baby Andrew on his knee. We hear a male voice: “Whoa! Libby, look! Really bouncing! ”]

I never thought that more clearly than when our own families welcomed Andrew.

[Scenes of grandparents holding and enjoying Andrew. One of them says, “He does look like Jim – that ‘s true! Oh, hello Sweetheart! Hello!” Another says, “You can see your father at any time, but you can’t see me, and you can’t see your grandfather.” Then we see Harriet’s mother playing the piano.]

Harriet’s mother helped pay for some of the expenses of the adoption with money she had inherited from her own mother. Someday, when Andrew asks me who his “real family” is, I hope to tell him it is all those people, present and gone, who helped bring us to him. And all the people in his life to whom he’ll open his heart.

[Tony’s face looks out at us again while he says:]

And if he ever has any doubt if he was wanted, I’ll tell him the story of his mother, who long before she even met him could feel how wonderful it would be to have him in her arms.

[Here, Harriet holds Andrew and sways and dances with him in the kitchen. A piano plays “Here in My Arms” while Jeannie Stahl sings:]

I waited for you, for my dream to come true

Now you are here in my arms.

Now that you’re here,

No more doubt, no more fear.

Now we are safe and warm.

Leaves will fall; snow will fall,

Flowers will poke through the ground

Spring will come; summer will come

Everything lost will be found.

No more waiting for you

You’re my dream come true

Now go to sleep in my arms.

Here in My Arms

Produced, written and narrated by Tony Kahn

Producer: Chris Stirling

Managing editor: Susan Sloane

Directed by Bob Comiskey

Camera: David Skillicorn, John Baynard, Art Donahue

Sound: James Fripp, Bob Hakkila

Editor: Susan Krieger

Additional photography: Tony Kahn, John Sedgwick, Harriet Reisen

“Here in My Arms”

Words and music by Harriet Reisen

Producer: Jeannie Stahl

Jeannie Stahl: Vocals

Stuart Schulman: Piano and violin

Special thanks to: Denise Koffroth, Daring studios, Marblehead, Sonny Dufault and Soundtrack studios, Boston, Adam Maffei, Carolyn Coady, Deluca’s Market, Belmont International Adoption Agency, The guests and management of The Posada Marques, Guadalajara, Cameras, Inc., Arlington, Caroline Saltonstall, Judy Stoia

Executive producer: Mark Mills

VP programming and public affairs: Paul Lacamera

Copyright 1989, WGVB-TV

[End of recording]

Transcribed by: Liz Cooksey